Procrastination

I just started reading the book ‘The War of Art’ by Steven Pressfield, which my friend Billy recommended. I have only reached page 39 but this line in the book just struck a chord with me:

‘Never forget: This very moment we can change our lives. There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the power to alter our destiny. This second we can turn the tables on Resistance.

 This second, we can sit down and do our work.’

This was literally a slap in the face for me because, as I have mentioned before, I find it hard to sit down and keep up with this blog. I write in my journal more often but I still catch myself going weeks creating excuses for myself to put it off until I bite the bullet and write a few pages to catch myself up on what’s new in my own life. I am sure I will learn in the next few chapters on how to fight resistance and beat procrastination and I think this blog post could be the first step.

There is so much new ‘content’ surrounding my life right now that I could (and probably will) eventually write a book. This past 2 months has been filled with new experiences, new places, realizations, and creative spikes in thought. I am excited and scared, mostly excited, at what the future holds for me. About 6 months ago before the start of this big journey I read another book, ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ by Mark Manson, which I think was the catalyst for this trip at this point in my life. The book basically reiterated what I already knew was the right thing to do but I continued to hold myself back from doing it. This was to stop doing the things that were making me unhappy and to follow through with the things that I am passionate about and inherently know would bring me happiness.

I was on a plane to London one month later with a tentative plan to travel throughout Europe, Asia, and Australia for the next 5 months. Here I am at month 5 on a bus from Cambodia to Thailand, thoughts racing through my head. I know to say ‘I found myself’ is very cliché and I don’t believe that happened at all. Though, I have come to another realization during these travels.

I’ve recognized that I am nowhere near the only person on an extended trip like this. I’d like to think that there are tens of thousands of people possibly doing a similar journey but for completely different reasons. I inherently know that I am unique but to the outside world I am just another backpacker wandering aimlessly in foreign countries and may or may not give a fuck about everything around me.

It’s disheartening and frustrating meeting those people traveling solely for ‘the party’ or with a lost and almost glazed look in their eyes. I almost want to give them a shake and say ‘wake up! Look around and try to make sense of all of this. Try to learn from this!’ But alas, some people are stuck in their own bubble wandering day to day with not a care in the world leaving a shit-stained trail behind them. They are coasting with metaphorical blinders up and may never see the havoc and destruction that they leave behind. This doesn’t just happen while traveling. Many people, if not most, go their whole lives with these blinders up and this wake of life-depleting destruction following them.

Ok, rant over. I wanted to end this post by letting you know it took me over a week to complete this post. This was partly due to laziness and the other part was that I got the flu pretty bad for about 5 days. In the end these are excuses. I could have finished this post the day I started it but then maybe I wouldn’t have been able to end it how I did. I will continue working on resistance and procrastination and hopefully this blog picks up.