Below is a journal entry I found in a random notebook filled with ideas, inventions, comedy skits, and lists. I posted this on Instagram almost a month ago and forget to reflect on it here because life took hold of me. Here is the journal entry from November 29, 2012:

“I really need to start doing something different. Something I love. I have let too many opportunities slip through my fingers. Get off your ass and do something. Make yourself useful. Make your time useful. Move away. Move out of your comfort zone. Meet new people. Learn new things. Life is short and is only what you make it. It starts right now. This is the perfect time. DO SOMETHING.”

The reason why I am reflecting on this now is that I, once again, find myself in a rut. I’m in the process of building a business that I continue to question, I am applying for jobs that I don’t necessarily want, and I’m slowly draining my bank account. It’s not that I am nervous or sad. I’m just feeling unfulfilled. I am in that limbo period where I’ve put some effort in and now waiting for anything either positive or negative to surface. I fill my day being both productive and unproductive and being pulled by the many projects I’ve laid out for myself. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.

But, today I was reminded of the memento mori in my Daily Stoic newsletter. It goes on to say that, “We meditate on our mortality so we can use this incredible asset we have been given. So we take nothing for granted. So we are present…” Too many times I lose myself in wandering thoughts and forget to focus toward the goal in order to bring myself back to the present. I think some people go their whole lives without ever focusing and coming back to the present… Seneca had a lot to say about death. One of his quotes brought me back to reality today. He says, “This is our big mistake: to think we look forward to death. Most of death is already gone. Whatever time has passed is owned by death.” It’s important to remember that life will end and to think deeply about it to remind ourselves to live the life worth living now. Do what you need to do because every day is fleeting.

That is where I am ending my day, applying the lessons of my recently discovered old thoughts written down, a realization of where I am now, and a respect for death that will one day come for me and all things around me. Using all of this to focus on my goals in front of me and forge on with everything I’ve got.