I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. I had a rough weekend. Work is getting tough. I started school. I’m just not in the mood. I don’t know what to write about…

These are just some of the excuses I’ve had for myself as to why I haven’t written on the blog. I do find it compelling for readers to have something interesting to read about in order to fill some literal void in their day, but for me, the rambling thoughts of a stranger sometimes pull me into their mind and let me swim around for a few minutes. What if you could see what someone was thinking? well, you literally can, literarily. These are my thoughts, written down.

So many snapshots of a sustainable, healthy, and positive future lost because my train of thought moves to something happening on the street. World altering Inventions and ideas gone as I step on a bus, tap my card, and start my podcast. If I could just press a button and record my greatest thoughts I would’ve solved most of the world’s problems by now. Did you know some people don’t have an internal monologue? I’ve wondered if that means they don’t have a waking conscience? I don’t know what I would do without my internal self. Always there to tell me to go for it or hold back. Internally laughing at my own jokes. Providing a moral compass so that for the most part I know what is right and what is wrong. I’d be so different without it. Your conscience must make the man, not the clothes. Some people don’t know how to outwardly express themselves and they shouldn’t be judged on not having that ability.

I think wondering if something will ever end is the wrong way to go about it. Being present and not necessarily optimistic, but for a brief second nihilistic, is a good way of looking at things right now. I can’t really think of one word to explain this feeling at the moment. Maybe I haven’t taken as much as I thought from my brief bouts of philosophical reading. That’s part of the fun though, trying your best to put into written words the thoughts you may not be able to articulate by talking or never verbalising at all. Then we can go back and try to make sense of it all in order to push forward with our ‘great ideas.’

I often sit back and think of everything that has brought me to the present and it’s a great feeling to revisit all of those times in order to really appreciate where you are. There’s so much work that was put into the single moment that is now. So much that culminates to every moment that will ever be. Experience and reflect, experience and reflect. That’s a fun way to traverse this world. The odd time you have to throw in the ‘let go’ but don’t get too cocky. Come back to stasis. Maybe not stasis, but come back to a place even if it is many years down the road.

All this is, is just an articulated glimpse into a few random thoughts pulled back together and formed into written word, well, typed... It feels good. It feels right. Your conscience and all of your thoughts throughout the day are secrets to everyone else and sometimes it feels great to share them with another person. A release. In order for me to realize that over and over sometimes I have to tell myself to just, ‘shut up and write!’